The Roller Coaster Continues - PET Scan Results

Well, after I wrote that last e-mail about how relieved I was that only one nodule was found, I received a call from my oncologist informing me that they wanted me to have a PET scan to see if there was anything else out there that wasn’t captured in the CT scan.

On Saturday, I went back down to Stanford for yet another test. I don’t know how many of you have had a PET scan before, but it’s not a whole lot of fun. First, they inject you with tracer fluid and then you drink a lovely cocktail (so they could add another CT scan) and then you are put into a machine with your arms over your head and told that you cannot move for the next 25 minutes. (The tech did tell me that I could breathe during the exam. Strangely enough, I don’t think that he was joking. Do people really ask him if they can breathe during a 25 minute exam??)

On Monday morning at 10:30 am, I received the call from Dr. Fisher The PET scan confirmed the presence of the cancerous growth that I mentioned in my previous blog posting. Unfortunately, that wasn’t all that was abnormal in the PET scan. The scan picked up 2-3 additional abnormal growths in my colon area. I write “area” because the PET scan cannot discern whether the spots are on the inside or the outside of my colon. On the up side, there was no sign of cancer in any other place in my body. (I’ll find that silver lining…)

So – what does this all mean? It looks like I will definitely have to surgically remove and/or radiate the location of the 12 mm nodule. This was not a surprise, since they were confident last week that this nodule was cancerous. I have an appointment on Friday with Dr. Hussein, the same gynecological oncology surgeon who performed my hysterectomy, for an examination and a discussion regarding her recommendation for future treatment.

As to the 2-3 spots in/near my colon, we have a few steps ahead of us. First, I will have a colonoscopy on Thursday for the doctors to try to determine whether I have cancerous nodules in my colon. Obviously, we are praying that they determine that what they saw is not cancerous (since PET scans are known to produce false-positive results). If they do find cancerous nodules, our next hope is that they are localized within my colon. If that’s the case, they may be able to approach these cancerous sites much like they will the other nodule – with some surgery and radiation. If, however, they determine that there is cancer floating outside of my colon, then most likely, my oncologist will recommend another round of chemotherapy. Needless to say, that is the least enticing of these options.

This has been a tremendous blow to me and my family. I am unable to put into words the emotions that swirl around us every day as we face this very strong adversary. But I will live. I am determined. Heck – Ellie and Ari are determined. I told them that I needed them to help me heal by making me laugh more. I don’t know if you’re familiar with 6 year old humor – but the jokes really are not very funny. But, what warms my heart, is their dogged determination to come up with ways to make me smile and their joy when they hear me laugh. They now have a role to play in helping mommy become healthy. We are a team, together with all of you, and I just know that with all of your amazing love, support, determination and laughter that we are going to succeed.

Results

Late this afternoon, I received a call from Margreet (Dr. Fisher's right hand) regarding last night's CT scan. Apparently, I have a 12 mm nodule that is cancerous. They believe that it was derived from a cancer cell that was on the outside of the area that was flushed with chemo. The very good news is that there is no sign of cancer in any other location in my body (liver, lungs etc.) In fact, there is a possibility that they will be able to cut the nodule out and/or hit it with localized radiation rather than going through chemo again. Dr. Fisher has been out of town and will be back tomorrow night to review my CT scan and make his recommendation as to the appropriate course of action.

Needless to say, we are very happy with this news. Of course, I still have cancer and it will have to be treated, but I am no longer in the dark abyss that kept me up all night.

I am so grateful to my wonderful OBGYN who insisted on doing my routine pap smear and for the fact that somehow he was able to locate this cancer. At the risk of sounding preachy, I hope that this is a reminder to everyone that routine tests are so very important. Please don't put off the pap smear, colonoscopy, mammogram or whatever else is on your list.

Now - I'm off to do a puzzle with Ellie and dance with Ari....

A Recurrence

About 2 hours ago, I received a call from my OBGYN. After a routine pap smear, he called to let me know that the test shows that I have cancer cells. We don't know very much now. I will be heading down to Stanford tonight for a CT scan and then we'll know the extent of the cancer and then determine the best way to move forward to treat it.

I am fairly distraught right now. I debated putting this out there before we knew more, but I figured that I could use a lot of prayers right now.

Please pray for me and my family. Please hug your family. Please stop worrying about the stupid, petty things. All that matters is your health and your family. Every minute, every hour, every day is a blessing.

No Options

As I stated in my previous blog, I have embarked on a journey of healing. Last week, I met with a Buddhist healer, Nestor, to discuss approach to life and health.

He said to me “Eve, you no longer have options. If you want to be healthy and remain cancer-free, you must cut out destructive foods, unhealthy thoughts and unnecessary stress. You must also meditate, slow down, exercise and sleep more. If you go back to your old, familiar ways, you will create an acidic environment in your body and you will be fighting cancer once again. You have no options.”

Wow. That’s a lot to absorb. He told me to start with creating a list of intentions and putting it on my bathroom mirror to look at daily – both in the morning and at night.

Perhaps the most important, but for me the most difficult activity on this list is meditation. It is hard to calm my mind. I actually like that I think about several things all at once. It makes me feel efficient and productive. However, after reflecting on this, I have realized that the most effective individuals are ones that are calm and focused. Nestor suggests that it’s like being in the middle of a tornado. There is calm inside while things swirl all around you. With calm comes clarity of mind and ability to conserve energy to direct at the important tasks at hand.

So – he suggested that I begin with 3 minutes of meditation twice a day. Eventually, I’ll work up to more time, but 3 minutes is a good place to start.

I also wanted to mention that I saw Dr. Fisher on Thursday. He declared me healthy once again. However, I didn’t feel that same sense of elation that I had last time. I will have my port removed in the next few weeks and I will have another CT scan and blood work in 3 months. He also gave me a lecture on eliminating unnecessary stress in order to heal. It seems like the western and eastern practitioners are in agreement when it comes to stress – it just isn’t good for your health.

I hope that you all are enjoying spring as new life and beauty abound (that’s another thing that I’m working on – literally stopping to smell the flowers!)

No Evidence of Recurrence of Metastatic Disease!

This past Wednesday, I had quite an ordeal at the radiology center at Stanford. I went in for my baseline CT scan following chemo. It took 4 different attempts to access a vein because I had what is referred to as “chemo veins.” Apparently, chemo does quite a number on your veins and mine were either hardened or collapsed. After 3 attempts, they finally called in the person who could always find a good vein – Arianna – a transsexual nurse. Only in the Bay Area. Needless to say, having her at my side gave me more to concentrate on then my painful veins and eventually we were successful.

So – the results? I received a call from Margreet telling me that there was no evidence of recurrence of metastatic disease. (Ok – I guess I tipped you off by the title of this blog.) I am incredibly relieved. However, it doesn’t feel the same as the last time that I received this news. Last time, when Dr. Fisher told me I was cancer free, and that I should hope for 5 years of no cancer – I scoffed at him. 5 years seemed like nothing. Now – I realize that it’s no easy feat.

It’s not over. I can’t just go back to the way I lived prior to the recurrence (which largely resembled life prior to my original diagnosis). That didn’t work. I need to make some profound changes and this time, I’ve already begun my journey. Over the next few blogs, I plan to write about this journey. I was just telling someone last night that only months ago I would have laughed if anyone had told me that I would be looking at some of the healing modalities that I am now exploring. But that’s what facing a life-threatening disease does – it forces you to consider everything that’s out there in order to stay alive. Every time that I feel my cynical side coming out – I just look at my daughters and refocus on my task at hand – living to see them grow up.

On Thursday, I will return to Stanford to see Dr. Fisher to talk about next steps. As the Passover holiday comes to an end, I feel blessed that the angel of death has once again passed over my home. I look forward to celebrating good health and happiness with all of you in the year ahead.

I’M DONE!!!

Well, today I wrapped up my last day of chemo. I am exhausted but incredibly relieved that I made it through. I was a little nervous that we weren’t going to get the chemo in today since I was quite bloated, but I went to my marvelous acupuncturist last night and walked on the treadmill both last night and this morning and that seemed to do the trick! I released enough fluid to enable me to get in the full treatment today. I was thrilled. But I am swimming in toxins right now.

I have so much that I want to write about my healing journey over the past several weeks, but for right now, I just need to go and rest. This has been a long road. I am now on my own to make sure that I keep my body in a condition where cancer does not want to reside. This will be done through my diet, my mind, my herbal supplements and my eastern medicine treatments.

The next step on the western medical front is to get a baseline CT scan on March 29 (they said that they want to see what the heck the chemo did to my insides over the past few months). I will then have an appointment with Dr. Fisher to go over my plan, which will most likely involve blood tests every few months with follow up CT scans every 6 months.

I have a lot of work ahead of me, but I am proud to say that this time I have jumped into my healing in a much more profound way than I did two years ago. I believe that this effort will be the one that will give me the greatest likelihood to have a long life.

Thank you all for your incredible support over the last several months. Your love, prayers and positive thoughts, along with a ton of delicious meals, mean more to me and my family than I can put into words. This has been a long haul (and it’s not over!) but I made it through a very significant portion of my treatment. And I did it with your help.

As I said goodbye to the incredible nurses at Stanford today, I literally cried. They are truly some of the most amazing individuals that I’ve ever met. Their kindness paired with their exceptional competence has made this whole experience so much better than it could have been. I feel fortunate that I live in a country that enabled me to have such fine health care. I guess that I’m just feeling a lot of gratitude today and I wanted to share it with all of you.

I am planning to celebrate over the weekend my new lease on life. I will celebrate the many years I will have ahead with my wonderful daughters (who made cupcakes and cards for all of the nurses today – so precious) and fabulous friends and family.

I hope you all have a phenomenal weekend filled with joy and love.

It's Almost Dress in Blue Day - March 5th!

As many of you may recall from last year, Dress in Blue Day is held once a year to bring attention to Colorectal Cancer. This event is held on the first Friday of March – which is March 5th.

Why we need to bring attention to colorectal cancer (except for the obvious reason that I have it!):

. Colorectal cancer is the #2 cause of cancer death in the U.S.
. Over 150,000 Americans will be diagnosed with colorectal cancer each year.
. Colorectal cancer often has no symptom at all until it's at an advanced stage.
. Colorectal cancer is 80% preventable when detected early.
. You can reduce your risk through regular screening.
. Beginning at age 50 (or earlier if you have a family history), everyone should be screened for colorectal cancer.

Dress in Blue Day was started in March of 2006 by a Colon Cancer Alliance volunteer and survivor, Anita Mitchell. In an effort to raise awareness about the importance of screening, Anita worked with her children's local k-8 Catholic school and parents to coordinate a recognition day. On that day, students, who normally wore a uniform to school, were allowed to wear blue if they donated a dollar to colon cancer research. To promote the event, Anita sent a notice to each of the 500 families at the school, letting them know about the special day and included some simple screening guidelines for the parents. When the children came to school on Dress in Blue Day they were each given a blue ribbon, signifying their participation.

In 2007, Anita dedicated Dress in Blue Day to her friend, Carmen, who had passed away from colon cancer and to all others who had lost their fight against colorectal cancer. In addition, Anita received a proclamation from the Mayor declaring it Dress in Blue Day for the city of Seattle.

If you or your company is interested in finding out more about how to promote this day, please go to http://www.ccalliance.org/news_events_dress-in-blue.html.

As for me, I’ve now gone through 2 days of Round 3. We are hopeful that tomorrow I will be able to finish up this round with my 3rd day. I went to the gym both this morning for 45 minutes and after chemo this evening for 45 minutes, to try to encourage my body to release the fluid that it had gained over the past 2 days. I have a 6:45 am meeting with my acupuncturist for her to tell my body to release the fluid as well. Hopefully this will all work and I’ll be completely filled with chemo tomorrow – so that no cancer can escape the poison!

I’m feeling pretty good and confident that tomorrow will be successful, but please continue to send your prayers and good thoughts my way! And don’t forget to dress in blue on March 5th!