As I stated in my previous blog, I have embarked on a journey of healing. Last week, I met with a Buddhist healer, Nestor, to discuss approach to life and health.
He said to me “Eve, you no longer have options. If you want to be healthy and remain cancer-free, you must cut out destructive foods, unhealthy thoughts and unnecessary stress. You must also meditate, slow down, exercise and sleep more. If you go back to your old, familiar ways, you will create an acidic environment in your body and you will be fighting cancer once again. You have no options.”
Wow. That’s a lot to absorb. He told me to start with creating a list of intentions and putting it on my bathroom mirror to look at daily – both in the morning and at night.
Perhaps the most important, but for me the most difficult activity on this list is meditation. It is hard to calm my mind. I actually like that I think about several things all at once. It makes me feel efficient and productive. However, after reflecting on this, I have realized that the most effective individuals are ones that are calm and focused. Nestor suggests that it’s like being in the middle of a tornado. There is calm inside while things swirl all around you. With calm comes clarity of mind and ability to conserve energy to direct at the important tasks at hand.
So – he suggested that I begin with 3 minutes of meditation twice a day. Eventually, I’ll work up to more time, but 3 minutes is a good place to start.
I also wanted to mention that I saw Dr. Fisher on Thursday. He declared me healthy once again. However, I didn’t feel that same sense of elation that I had last time. I will have my port removed in the next few weeks and I will have another CT scan and blood work in 3 months. He also gave me a lecture on eliminating unnecessary stress in order to heal. It seems like the western and eastern practitioners are in agreement when it comes to stress – it just isn’t good for your health.
I hope that you all are enjoying spring as new life and beauty abound (that’s another thing that I’m working on – literally stopping to smell the flowers!)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
No Evidence of Recurrence of Metastatic Disease!
This past Wednesday, I had quite an ordeal at the radiology center at Stanford. I went in for my baseline CT scan following chemo. It took 4 different attempts to access a vein because I had what is referred to as “chemo veins.” Apparently, chemo does quite a number on your veins and mine were either hardened or collapsed. After 3 attempts, they finally called in the person who could always find a good vein – Arianna – a transsexual nurse. Only in the Bay Area. Needless to say, having her at my side gave me more to concentrate on then my painful veins and eventually we were successful.
So – the results? I received a call from Margreet telling me that there was no evidence of recurrence of metastatic disease. (Ok – I guess I tipped you off by the title of this blog.) I am incredibly relieved. However, it doesn’t feel the same as the last time that I received this news. Last time, when Dr. Fisher told me I was cancer free, and that I should hope for 5 years of no cancer – I scoffed at him. 5 years seemed like nothing. Now – I realize that it’s no easy feat.
It’s not over. I can’t just go back to the way I lived prior to the recurrence (which largely resembled life prior to my original diagnosis). That didn’t work. I need to make some profound changes and this time, I’ve already begun my journey. Over the next few blogs, I plan to write about this journey. I was just telling someone last night that only months ago I would have laughed if anyone had told me that I would be looking at some of the healing modalities that I am now exploring. But that’s what facing a life-threatening disease does – it forces you to consider everything that’s out there in order to stay alive. Every time that I feel my cynical side coming out – I just look at my daughters and refocus on my task at hand – living to see them grow up.
On Thursday, I will return to Stanford to see Dr. Fisher to talk about next steps. As the Passover holiday comes to an end, I feel blessed that the angel of death has once again passed over my home. I look forward to celebrating good health and happiness with all of you in the year ahead.
So – the results? I received a call from Margreet telling me that there was no evidence of recurrence of metastatic disease. (Ok – I guess I tipped you off by the title of this blog.) I am incredibly relieved. However, it doesn’t feel the same as the last time that I received this news. Last time, when Dr. Fisher told me I was cancer free, and that I should hope for 5 years of no cancer – I scoffed at him. 5 years seemed like nothing. Now – I realize that it’s no easy feat.
It’s not over. I can’t just go back to the way I lived prior to the recurrence (which largely resembled life prior to my original diagnosis). That didn’t work. I need to make some profound changes and this time, I’ve already begun my journey. Over the next few blogs, I plan to write about this journey. I was just telling someone last night that only months ago I would have laughed if anyone had told me that I would be looking at some of the healing modalities that I am now exploring. But that’s what facing a life-threatening disease does – it forces you to consider everything that’s out there in order to stay alive. Every time that I feel my cynical side coming out – I just look at my daughters and refocus on my task at hand – living to see them grow up.
On Thursday, I will return to Stanford to see Dr. Fisher to talk about next steps. As the Passover holiday comes to an end, I feel blessed that the angel of death has once again passed over my home. I look forward to celebrating good health and happiness with all of you in the year ahead.
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