No Evidence of Recurrence of Metastatic Disease!

This past Wednesday, I had quite an ordeal at the radiology center at Stanford. I went in for my baseline CT scan following chemo. It took 4 different attempts to access a vein because I had what is referred to as “chemo veins.” Apparently, chemo does quite a number on your veins and mine were either hardened or collapsed. After 3 attempts, they finally called in the person who could always find a good vein – Arianna – a transsexual nurse. Only in the Bay Area. Needless to say, having her at my side gave me more to concentrate on then my painful veins and eventually we were successful.

So – the results? I received a call from Margreet telling me that there was no evidence of recurrence of metastatic disease. (Ok – I guess I tipped you off by the title of this blog.) I am incredibly relieved. However, it doesn’t feel the same as the last time that I received this news. Last time, when Dr. Fisher told me I was cancer free, and that I should hope for 5 years of no cancer – I scoffed at him. 5 years seemed like nothing. Now – I realize that it’s no easy feat.

It’s not over. I can’t just go back to the way I lived prior to the recurrence (which largely resembled life prior to my original diagnosis). That didn’t work. I need to make some profound changes and this time, I’ve already begun my journey. Over the next few blogs, I plan to write about this journey. I was just telling someone last night that only months ago I would have laughed if anyone had told me that I would be looking at some of the healing modalities that I am now exploring. But that’s what facing a life-threatening disease does – it forces you to consider everything that’s out there in order to stay alive. Every time that I feel my cynical side coming out – I just look at my daughters and refocus on my task at hand – living to see them grow up.

On Thursday, I will return to Stanford to see Dr. Fisher to talk about next steps. As the Passover holiday comes to an end, I feel blessed that the angel of death has once again passed over my home. I look forward to celebrating good health and happiness with all of you in the year ahead.