Thank You!

Things have seemed to go a little smoother since getting my port. For those of you who were wondering, I have finally taken off the bandages and looked at it! It wasn’t anything like what I was expecting (I thought it would be a big plastic thing with holes in it poking out of my skin). It just looks like a bump under my skin with a scratch underneath. I can’t believe that I kept it bandaged up for nearly 3 weeks. My oncology nurse thought I was crazy!

As of Friday, I’m half way through my chemotherapy. The only caveat is that if I get very ill then my oncologist will stop the chemo treatments. Apparently, there is not a lot of evidence that there is a significant difference between having chemo for 3 vs. 6 months. However, 6 months is standard protocol, so that’s what we’re planning for. The standard used to be a year – so in comparison, 6 months doesn’t sound so bad.

Many people have made comments to me that they can’t believe how quickly the time is passing, but let’s just say that it has been far from fast for me and that it seems like forever before I’ll be done. But, I’m getting better every day and closer to being done with this difficult chapter in my life.

While the challenges of cancer continue to try me every day, the one that thing that still amazes me is the tremendous outpouring of support I, and my family, have received from you. The meals, lovely notes of encouragement, rides to my appointments, and visits with my family…I could go on because the kindness you have poured on me has no end. You all are truly walking with us every step of the way and it is hard to put into words how much that means to us.

Many of you know how meticulous I am about sending ‘thank you’ notes and you have probably noticed that not one has made it in the mail in the last couple of months. I hope that you will all excuse me during this time and know that I have not forgotten my manners – I have just put them on hold for a little while. While my exhaustion leaves me little time and energy to juggle work and home, please know that the lack of a personal note does not mean your time and generosity has gone unappreciated.

We are, and will be, forever grateful for everything that people have done to help us through this extremely stress-filled time in our lives.

Passover and Liberation

Passover has a special meaning for me this year. The name “Passover” is a reference to when the angel of death “passed over” the Jewish homes when God spared the Hebrew first born from the tenth plague. This all dates back to the story of Moses and his strength in standing up to the Pharaoh to demand that the Jews be released from slavery. This year I felt compelled to celebrate Passover not only to celebrate the fact that the angel of death is passing over my home, but also because Passover is about liberation.

I felt especially fortunate because my sister and her lovely family schlepped all of the way from Santa Monica to celebrate Passover with us. This is the first time that I’ve celebrated Passover with my sister since we were in high school (so many many years ago). Although I was exhausted from Round 6 of chemo (which was last Friday), and adding 2 young boys to the mix did not make anything more relaxing, it just felt so right to be surrounded by family during this particularly poignant Passover. In addition, we were also blessed to have been invited to our dear friends’ home for a second night of Passover so that we could celebrate twice the “passing over” of the angel of death with them and their amazing family.

As for liberation - I’ve been working on examining my life and not letting the little things get to me. This is something that I’ve been working on for years – but since I was diagnosed with cancer, it’s amazing how much faster I’m learning to just let things go. The petty stuff that seemed so important now seems so trivial. I hope that I will be able to maintain this sense of self-awareness once I beat the cancer. This is my goal for my personal liberation.

Now Some Good News!

During my doctor’s appointment and Round 5 chemotherapy, the doctor let me know that my blood work indicates that I remain cancer free! This means that the operation which removed a foot of my colon and 21 lymph nodes was successful in removing the cancer. I continue with the chemotherapy to suppress any further growth of cancer cells in my body.

However, I still have 8 chemo treatments remaining over the next 4 months. As you know, I did have the port installed on April 2nd . It was quite overwhelming, but my dear friend Stacia was by my side to give me support as I was wheeled in for yet another surgery. I’m still too skittish about the whole thing to look at it (I just leave it taped up). Chemo was a much better experience the following day, and I seem to have bounced back much more quickly.

My beautiful friend Shana (she asked that I add the word "beautiful" - it is true, though) is visiting this weekend and wrote me a cancer ode (Shana is known for making odes) which I would like to share with you:

I have a guest who's come to stay.
He's rude and pays no rent.
He's moved into my colon now.
In my nodes he's made a dent.

But he's not smart, this guest of mine.
He'll soon be on his way.
He was dumb enough to mess with me
And soon he'll have to pay.

My docs are smart, and I am strong.
He'll see who wears the pants.
With pipe cleaner art* and lots of prayers
He doesn't stand a chance.

* Inspired by Ari's prolific pipe cleaner art, Shana made the entire ode in pipe cleaners on felt.

A Random Act of Kindness

Last week, I was connected with an amazing colon cancer survivor – Mark Weiss. Mark and his wife, Elizabeth, without having met us, invited our family to spend the weekend with them at their bakery and B&B in Cazadero, California (near the Russian River).

What a marvelous weekend we had at Raymond’s Bakery at Elim Grove! The girls happily hunted for fairies in the beautiful woods and along the bubbling stream but ended up catching only a toad and multiple caterpillars (which they were VERY excited about… I, on the other hand, wasn’t so thrilled with their catch). While the girls were busy exploring with their 3-year old daughter, Mark and Elizabeth spent their time telling us about their struggle with colon cancer and shared their love and support to help us as we face this tremendous adversary. What’s truly amazing about them is that they decided that they want their B&B to serve not only as a business for them, but also as a place of respite for cancer patients. They regularly invite cancer patients to come to the serenity of their home to relax and enjoy their fantastic food (and they refuse to be compensated for their hospitality for cancer patients). Pat and I were truly moved by their generosity and unbelievable spirit. Information about Raymond's Bakery at Elim Grove can be found by e-mailing to gottabakebread@gmail.com (Phone: 707-632-5335 ).

Mark has an amazing story to tell about his experience with colon cancer – he was diagnosed with Stage 3 colon cancer the night before his wife’s scheduled c-section for their first child. I cannot even imagine the incredible pain that they faced during what should have been the happiest time in their lives. Furthermore, Mark had left his job in the Silicon Valley to move with his lovely wife Elizabeth to Cazadero to start their bakery and B&B – and they were at the beginning stages of the business. Mark’s story is one of phenomenal courage as he and Elizabeth struggled with a newborn baby, a new business and Stage 3 colon cancer.

As you can tell from my earlier description of this couple and their bakery, just because Mark’s treatment was over, didn’t mean that they were no longer going to be involved in helping others with colon cancer. Since completing his treatment, Mark has been involved with an organization called The Colon Club, whose mission is to educate as many people as possible about colon cancer. They want people to talk in their everyday lives about it and to get screened when it is right for them. To meet that goal, they do “crazy things” to teach that anyone can get colorectal cancer at any age. They actually have a “colondar” that features colorectal cancer survivors diagnosed under the stereotypical age of 50 along with their personal stories and information about colorectal cancer. Mark is Mr. July 2008. For information about the Colon Club go to http://www.colonclub.com/. For more information about the Colondar go to http://www.colondar.com/.

I wanted to share this story with you as an example of the support that we have received from people who, until now, we did not know. So many people have opened their hearts to us. We feel truly blessed to have so much love and support as we take on this incredible challenge.