Sunday, May 31, 2009

It's Been Awhile

Wow – it’s been a long time since I’ve written on this blog. I’ve thought about writing many times, but I just didn’t take the time. For example – after watching 20 minutes of the Farrah Fawcett TV special that captured her going through chemo, I was going to write about what an idiot I was to watch the program. Going through chemo was perhaps the worst experience of my life (taking the bar exam was a close second) so why would I sit and watch someone else go through it? Some days I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed.

I was also going to blog about my experiences visiting with many other cancer patients and survivors over the past couple of months. The strength, love and compassion that emanates from so many of them is extraordinary. Interestingly – I was just about to write “it’s an honor to be one of them,” but as I started to write this I thought “what the heck am I saying – it stinks to be one of them.” But they are an amazing bunch nonetheless.

Another noteworthy happening occurred over the past couple of weeks – Dawes Eddy, the father of my best friend from high school, summited Mt. Everest. He was the oldest U.S. citizen to hit the peak (unfortunately, his record was broken 3 days later by a guy who was one year older than him…) I was going to write something compelling about his difficult journey and compare it to surviving cancer – but again, I never got around to writing that blog entry. (If you are interested in reading about his climb, go to the Discovery Channel’s site and do a search for Mount Everest then look for Everest 2009. There’s a good blog posted there by Ed Wardle, the summit cameraman who followed Dawes to the top.)

I was trying to figure out why I haven’t written when I’ve had many thoughts that only a year ago, would have warranted a blog entry. I think it’s because I no longer dwell on these moments. I seem to be able to acknowledge them and move on. Cancer no longer defines me. I’ve stopped beginning every conversation with a statement indicating that I’m either a cancer patient or survivor. Although I do think about cancer every day, it is not every minute or even every hour and sometimes it is only a fleeting thought as I go through my day.

You will be hearing from me a little more frequently over the next few weeks, since I already know what my next blog entry will be about. (I know that the suspense is probably killing you…)

In the meantime, on Tuesday I will be returning to Stanford for some tests just to make sure that all is well with me. Once again, please send your positive thoughts my way…