Results

So today was a day of results…. a couple not so good….one pretty darn good!

First – I’m sure that all of you have been watching the craziness surrounding Prop 29.   It was winning, then it was “defeated” and then we found out that there were still 1 million votes that hadn’t been counted.  So – with a 63,000 vote spread, winning is actually within our grasp.  We’re all holding our breaths on this one.  I went to bed nervous because of the slide that continued through the night, woke up and was devastated with the morning results but then mid-morning my hope was restored.  We could win this thing.  It will be by the skin of our teeth – but we could actually win this.

It was such an honor to be at the Prop 29 party last night with all of the amazing individuals who put together the campaign.  What a special group of people – with huge hearts and such a desire to help those of us who are fighting this terrible disease.  It lifted my spirits just to be around them.

As you also may be aware, I had my PET/CT scan yesterday.  Finally, at 6 pm tonight I got the call from Margreet with the results. It wasn’t good news. Apparently, there are many tumors in my abdomen (not just 4-5).  They are deep and run along my lymphatic system.  They lit up the PET scan.  Unfortunately, there are too many to operate on or radiate.    Therefore, my only option is chemo.  It wasn’t all bad news though, George is definitely planning on moving forward with the study and it looks like I’m going to be one of the participants.  He still needs to do some administrative tasks around getting final approval, but Margreet assured me that he is committed to moving forward with the study.  We’re not sure when it will begin but hopefully soon.  In the meantime, I will begin a more aggressive chemo program to try to stop the proliferation of the tumors.

When I was telling the girls tonight that I was going to be a part of this upcoming study – they wanted us to explain what that meant.  After hearing that it meant that I was going to try something out and see if it worked so that others may someday use the drugs if they were successful, Ellie asked “what happens if it doesn’t work?”  I explained to her that I’d find another study and would try that study and if that didn’t work I’d just keep finding studies and try until I found something that worked.   She responded by asking, “but how about if none of the studies work?”  I had no answer for her.  After seeing my hesitation, she said, “but the likelihood of that isn’t very much, right mom?”  I answered her simply, “you are right, Ellie.”

Tonight I have to focus on the possibility that the study will work…that I’m being given an amazing opportunity to be a part of a breakthrough that could save hundreds of thousands of lives.  Tomorrow I will call Garrett and start my chemo once again…to keep my tumors in check until my immune system kicks in and gets rid of them….

Tonight I choose to believe in miracles – both for Prop 29 and for me.

Thank you to all of you who were so supportive in our efforts to pass Prop 29.  I was so honored and humbled to be a part of this amazing movement.