Hope

Last week I informed all of you that my cancer had returned.  I was devastated.  I was up most of the night crying and trying to figure out how I was going to say goodbye to my darling daughters.  The next night, I was scheduled to speak to 500 ACS volunteers in San Jose.  Let’s just say that walking into that room realizing that I was supposed to speak about hope when I wasn’t feeling any, was not easy.

 When I got into the room, I saw George Fisher – who, along with David Veneziano (President of CA ACS) was also scheduled to speak to the crowd.   When I saw him, I asked him about an interesting study taking place at Hadassah Hospital in Jerusalem.  I was wondering if perhaps I should try to get myself enrolled.  He leaned over to me and said “Wait for my speech.  I think I may have something for you.”

That night, George talked about a potential breakthrough in cancer treatment.  It involves combining radiation and certain chemo drugs to train the immune system to recognize cancer as a foreign body and attack it.  He said that this is a game changer for cancer and the most promising breakthrough that he’s seen in his career.  He’d like to start the study right away but of course it comes down to costs.   It will cost $3.5 million for the study.  If they proceed, it could have the impact of saving hundreds of thousands of lives, including mine.  Stanford has been talking about doing this study for the past year but hadn’t had the funding.  In fact, Pat and I heard George talk about this last year and I remember walking up to him following his lecture to ask him whose tushy I needed to kiss to get me into the study.  His response at the time was that they didn’t have the funds to proceed with the study.  His other comment was that I wouldn’t be eligible for the study because I didn’t have multiple tumors.  You needed multiple tumors to qualify.  I then said to him that my goal would be that when they had the money, I would have the tumors.  His retort – “it’s better not to have tumors.” 

But – here we are.  Last Tuesday I found out that I have multiple tumors.  And this Tuesday, California’s voters could make sure that there is the money at Stanford to proceed with the study.  Perhaps my devastating news may not be so devastating.  Perhaps everything is perfectly timed.

It is amazing what hope can do.  I was scheduled to speak directly following George.  As I rehearsed my speech on the way to the event, I broke down in tears at multiple places throughout the speech.  It was hard for me to talk about the future.  But, as George was talking about this magnificent opportunity, my spirit lifted.  As I walked to the stage, I knew I could make it through the speech.  Hope.  That’s all I needed – a little hope.

This is my last opportunity on this blog to beg everyone out there to vote for Prop 29 on Tuesday.  Please – ask your friends, your neighbors, your fellow gym members…..anyone and everyone you know in California to go to the polls and vote.  Research breakthroughs provide those of us fighting this devastating disease with the hope that we need to continue our battle.  I’m not going to go into the many reasons why you should support this or try to address the many many lies that are being spewed by the tobacco companies.  Feel free to go to www.CaliforniansForACure.org where they address every concern that you may have and clearly outline what it is that you’re voting for.

But – at the end of the day, I’m making a personal plea.  The passage of Prop 29 is my best chance to see my children grow up.  Not only will it hopefully save my life, but it will save the lives of hundreds of thousands of other cancer patients.  When you go into the voting booth, please vote yes.  My life depends on it.