Chemo (Take 3) Begins

When I started writing this blog entry on Friday, I had written that it was my best chemo experience yet. Even with the ridiculous (and really cold!) penguin caps, I still was happy (relatively speaking) with how Thursday played out and how I was feeling on Friday. Then came a really really tough weekend. But after some minor adjustments, I’m feeling ok once again. (So – if you’re in a hurry – that’s the quick version of what I’m about to write out – so you can go about your day and know you haven’t missed anything.)

On Thursday, Pat and I headed across the Bay Bridge for my first chemo appointment with Dr. Smith. Elizabeth (the woman who had handed me her penguin caps the day before), met us at my appointment so that she could show Pat and our friend Linda (who also came to the appointment) how to properly put on the caps and to walk through the exact timing with us. Not only did Elizabeth work with us to make sure that we had the system down – she actually stayed for my entire 3 hour chemo appointment to help us. Once again, I was blessed with an incredible person who came forward to help me along my journey. It never ceases to amaze me the amount of kindness that is out there.

Speaking of kind human beings – it was recently brought to my attention that I rarely mention my husband in this blog. That was not on purpose. Pat, my husband, has been the most unbelievable partner throughout this incredibly challenging (hellacious) experience. He has been there for 99% of my doctor appointments, my chemo treatments, my anxious calls throughout the day, my late night worries and has been a rock not only for me, but for our children, our parents and our friends. I cannot overemphasize how incredible he has been. I don’t know what I would have done without him.

Now – back to Thursday… Dr. Smith actually put in the IV himself to deliver the chemo and sat with me until I was comfortable. He then checked in on me regularly to see how I was doing. While he gave me many a funny look about the penguin caps – he couldn’t dismiss their effectiveness when I had my new friend Elizabeth with me sporting a full head of hair 2 days after her breast cancer chemo.

After the fun dosage of Irinotecan and Avastin and with a healthy dose of anti-nausea meds, I headed home to rest (and continue changing penguin caps for the next 4 hours). I actually felt very well and that feeling of wellness and energy continued throughout the next day.

Unfortunately, that feeling did not last. I began taking Xeloda on Friday night and immediately began to have trouble. I spent most of the weekend in bed. I spoke with Dr. Smith on Sunday and he cut back my dosage. On Monday afternoon, I was beginning to feel much better and as I write this, I’m feeling almost 100%.

I have also returned to work. It’s good to be back. I actually have times throughout the day that I forget that I’m battling cancer. It’s nice to have those little breaks. This is a tough time, both physically and mentally. I am so grateful for my family, friends and people who I don’t know who I hear have me on their prayer lists.

My dear friend asked me the other day if I had the chance if I would switch my life (both the good and the bad) for someone else’s life (not knowing who that someone else may be), would I do so? While my first instinct was to say “yes” because this has been such a scary and difficult time, I realized that in fact, my answer is “no.” I am blessed in so many many ways.