Limping Along

Last week, I went to Stanford for my regular PDL-1 infusion and meeting with Dr. Fisher. He gave me the update from my stent surgery the week before. Apparently, they saw cancer in my bladder – but it was the same cancer from the last time that they were in there.  It’s strange how my perspective has changed over the years. I am no longer devastated when they tell me about the cancer in my body – as long as it hasn’t grown or spread.


When I met with Dr. Fisher, I told him that I believed that all was well – I had an explanation for every pain that I was feeling. He told me that while he appreciated my positive attitude, he believed that my cancer was actually growing and that soon we would be moving to a new protocol. There are a few different options – options are a good thing.


I will be getting my next CT scan in mid-January. Once we get a new look, we’ll figure out next steps. I may also reschedule those appointments with the other cancer centers to get their input as to whether they have something innovative for me.


I asked Dr. Fisher whether he was hopeful that there would be new treatment coming out soon. He sadly told me that unfortunately, he didn’t believe that there was anything in the near horizon. I told him that I would continue to limp along until something better came along. His response? “Eve – you are more than limping along – you’re doing great.”


Later this week, it will have been 8 years since I was originally diagnosed in Iowa. It’s truly a miracle that I am not only alive, but working full time, raising my children and fully participating in life. Just last week, as I was happily skiing with the girls in Tahoe, I marveled at how truly remarkable that it was that I was able to ski.  Although, I am in continuous pain, I haven’t let it stop me. Cancer will not stop me from living my life. No limping for me.


I hope that your 2015 is filled with lots of love, happiness and health!