Sunday, April 14, 2013

A Reminder


Yesterday, we took the girls to see the Broadway production of Billy Elliott.  It is truly a phenomenal show.  I had seen it many years ago, but I had forgotten the story.

About a third of the way through the show you learn that Billy Elliott’s mother is dead.  They don’t say how she died – but apparently she died when he was young.   At this point in the show, 11 year-old Billy reads a letter that she wrote to him that he wasn’t to open until he was 18 years old.

This is what she wrote:

I know I must seem like a distant memory to you.
Which is probably a good thing.
It will have been a long time…
And I will have missed seeing you grow,
Missed you crying, laughing and shouting and….
I will have missed telling you off.
But please know that I was always there
With you through everything.
And I always will be…
---And I’m proud that you were mine.
Always be yourself.
I’ll love you forever.

As Billy and his dance teacher recited the letter, tears streamed down my face.  Every so often I have moments like these.  When the reality of what I’m dealing with and what may come to be is like a punch in the stomach.

Fortunately, Ariel had wrapped her arms around mine and had her head on my shoulder during this scene.  I grabbed her tight and vowed that I would continue to fight as long and as hard as I could to stay alive.  I am excited about where I’m at on the health front.  I’m feeling better than I have in years.   But it’s when I feel well that I have to remember all that I have learned over the last 5 years.  It’s easy to forget all of my lessons regarding appreciating every moment, eating right, not working until all hours, taking time to breathe, focusing on the things that matter and so many more…

I guess that yesterday’s show was a helpful reminder for me.  I realized that no matter how long I have, whether it’s a year, 5 years or 30 years, that it is my responsibility to make sure that my daughters know how much they are loved and cherished.  And I’m going to make sure that they hear it every day.

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