Today I went in to Stanford for my post-surgery CT. Unfortunately, there seem to be 4-5 abnormalities and George believes that they are most likely cancerous. They are located in my upper abdomen and by my pancreas and bladder. The look of sadness in his eyes overwhelmed me.
The next steps are to get a CT-PET scan in the next few days so that they can see if the spots are active. We will also see what my blood work looks like (I should get the results tomorrow). Next Wednesday, I'll meet with George again to determine next steps. But - most likely - some harsher chemo is in my future. If I have multiple spots, George said that they would not be able to radiate or operate on them, so chemo is my best option. Unfortunately, our chemo options are limited for colon cancer. (Which is why I'm so adamant about the passage of Prop 29 next week. It really is my best chance to see the girls grow up. But - I'll stop the commercial now)
I'm so very very sad right now. This is my 5th recurrence in less than 5 years. Tomorrow night, I am supposed to be speaking to 500 American Cancer Society volunteers at their annual dinner. I was planning to talk about hope. Honestly, I'm not feeling a lot of that right now. I am so very tired of fighting.
Tonight I will wallow in my sorrow. But tomorrow, I will wake up and put my game face on and be ready to fight again. That's what I do - I won't go down without a fight. Please be with me. Send me your prayers as I embark on what will be a very difficult journey ahead.
4 comments:
Sending you strong vibes Evie. You've got legions of fans out here who adore you. Your friend, Emi Ashida
You may not feel hope right now, but your willingness to share your thoughts, and your fight, is inspirational. We are proud of you and we are praying for you!
I am a friend of Miriam and saw her post on Facebook. I felt compelled to search out your blog so that I could tell you directly that there are many people praying for you and your family. I am sorry that you have had to go through this and I hope with all my heart that it is a trial that you will overcome. Here is to you kicking cancer's ass!! Amy
How did the speech go? I bet you touched the nerve of hope and light. What a journey this is. You are an inspiration to us all. Let the medicine work for you. Much love.
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