A Surreal Day - A Look Back at Iowa

The Iowa Caucus. It has been 4 long years since the last Caucus. As you all know, that was the beginning of my cancer journey. I remember those days like they were yesterday. Marianne and I spent the week before the Caucus braving the Iowan winter campaigning for Hillary and going back and forth to Mercy Hospital in Des Moines begging them to please figure out the source of my incredible pain.

On the night of the Caucus, rather than witnessing how Iowans vote, I checked in to Mercy, thinking that they’d quickly figure out my pain and I’d be going home soon. It never occurred to me that they’d discover the unthinkable – cancer.

But they did. These last four years have not been easy. Since that day, I’ve had my colon re-sected twice, a radical hysterectomy, a vaginal resection, an ileostomy, reversal of my ileostomy, poisoned my body with far too much chemo (xeloda, oxiliplatin, FUDR, Irinotecan, Avastin…), botoxed my sphincter muscle, had more than 20 CT scans, visited countless doctors all over the country, cut meat out of my diet (for the most part), opened my eyes to eastern medicine (acupuncture, Chinese herbs, qi gong, yoga, Tibetan healing, ayurvedic healing….) and had more than my share of needles.

Four years ago, I would have never guessed that this would be my life – or that I would have to fight so hard to still be alive.

Interestingly enough, Iowa is not just a sad memory for me. I met so many warm and amazing people. Just this morning, I received an e-mail from a wonderful friend that I met while in Iowa. Cyril and her husband John, after only meeting me that fateful week, were there for Pat and me when we were in need. My Iowan oncologist, Rocky Morton, e-mailed just recently just to check in on me and told me that he’d been keeping up to date on me through the years.

It is with mixed emotion that I sit here watching the Iowa Caucus tonight. I am grateful to be alive watching the Caucus unfold (crazy as it is). And, I just made a vow to myself, that in four years, I’m going back to Iowa – to finally see the Caucus in person.