My Rock

This posting is about my husband, Pat. Yesterday, I was telling my friend, Keith about how important it has been for me throughout this journey to have Pat’s strength and complete faith that everything is going to be ok. Keith then said, as gently as he could, that he thought that I should actually post about Pat. He had noticed that I blog about the girls frequently, but rarely mention my rock of a husband.

I thought about that for a moment. I realized that I blog about the girls because I know that if the worst comes to pass that Pat would be fine (although sad), however it is the girls who would suffer the most. It is this knowledge that keeps me fighting every day to live.

I didn’t mean to neglect my amazing husband. I can’t imagine tackling this disease without him. Throughout my many surgeries, chemo infusions and doctors appointments he has been at my side. He has emptied drains sticking out of my body, changed my bag, facilitated the use of my penguin cold caps, rubbed my back and held my hand. He supported my efforts when I decided to fly around the country to get additional opinions. When I said that I wanted to look into alternative ways to heal, he didn’t laugh or dismiss me, he supported me.

But, most importantly, when I am in my darkest hours, dealing with my sadness, anger or fear, he remains a constant source of strength. He has no doubts that I am going to live to see our children grow up. He believes in my body’s ability to fight this disease. While I have seen fear in the eyes of so many people that I love throughout the years, I have never witnessed that fear in Pat. When I see his confidence, it puts me back in the right frame of mind and renews my faith in my ability to win this battle. I am so deeply grateful to have Pat by my side.

And – for the news that you’ve all been waiting for - during my chemo appointment yesterday, Dr. Smith gave me the great news that my MRI was normal and that there was no evidence of cancer in my spine. I was thrilled and so relieved. But, of course, Pat already knew that it would be clear.