Wow - What a Difference!

On Thursday, I started my new chemo regimen. We’ve dropped Irinotecan and are continuing only with Avastin and Xeloda. What does that mean? Well – I no longer have to worry about nausea, diarrhea or hair loss (good bye my dear Penguin Cold Caps, which saved EVERY hair on my head!). Avastin has almost no side effects. It was amazing. So my new regimen is receiving an Avastin infusion every 3 weeks and taking Xeloda (in pill form) for 7 days on, then 7 days off. There are side effects associated with Xeloda. For me the most bothersome is extremely dry hands and feet. At the end of my last 7 day cycle with Xeloda, I had trouble walking because of the combination of dry feet and neuropathy. But I can handle it. So many people have it so much worse.

Dr. Smith also spent some time with me outlining the meaning of my CT scan. He told me that the spots that he saw were smaller than they appeared on previous scans, but even more importantly, they were a lot less dense. He said that this means that there is probably dying or dead cancer inside of them. He then said the best thing of all “Eve, you will most likely never get rid of those spots completely. We will probably still see those spots 40 years from now in your scans.” I stopped him immediately and asked him to repeat what he had just said. 40 years from now? Did he really utter those words? I’ve been hoping for 4 years. When I called him on it, he just smiled.

Yesterday, the girls and I went with some dear friends to a place that was filled with trampolines. I decided not just to watch them, but to get in there and jump with them. The feeling of elation and gratefulness overwhelmed me as I flew through the air. As the laughter of my children surrounded me, I realized that I am beating the odds. I am going to live.