Yesterday, we took the girls to see the Broadway production of
Billy Elliott. It is truly a phenomenal
show. I had seen it many years ago, but
I had forgotten the story.
About a third of the way through the show you learn that
Billy Elliott’s mother is dead. They
don’t say how she died – but apparently she died when he was young. At this point in the show, 11 year-old Billy
reads a letter that she wrote to him that he wasn’t to open until he was 18
years old.
This is what she wrote:
I know I must seem
like a distant memory to you.
Which is probably a
good thing.
It will have been a
long time…
And I will have missed
seeing you grow,
Missed you crying,
laughing and shouting and….
I will have missed
telling you off.
But please know that I
was always there
With you through
everything.
And I always will be…
---And I’m proud that
you were mine.
Always be yourself.
I’ll love you forever.
As Billy and his dance teacher recited the letter, tears
streamed down my face. Every so often I
have moments like these. When the
reality of what I’m dealing with and what may come to be is like a punch in the
stomach.
Fortunately, Ariel had wrapped her arms around mine and had
her head on my shoulder during this scene.
I grabbed her tight and vowed that I would continue to fight as long and
as hard as I could to stay alive. I am
excited about where I’m at on the health front.
I’m feeling better than I have in years. But it’s when I feel well that I have to
remember all that I have learned over the last 5 years. It’s easy to forget all of my lessons
regarding appreciating every moment, eating right, not working until all hours,
taking time to breathe, focusing on the things that matter and so many more…
I guess that yesterday’s show was a helpful reminder for me.
I realized that no matter how long I have, whether it’s a year, 5 years
or 30 years, that it is my responsibility to make sure that my daughters know
how much they are loved and cherished.
And I’m going to make sure that they hear it every day.
