Miracles and Gratitude

Last night, the first night of Chanukah, we began the celebration of miracles. Today was Thanksgiving – when we as a nation focus on gratitude. What an amazing combination and so poignant at this stage in my cancer journey.

Over the last few days I’ve had a constant stream of e-mails and texts with my oncologists regarding last Friday’s CT scan. Yes, the five tumors that have stubbornly refused to leave my gut for the past year are stable (a couple went up a little, a couple went down and one stayed the same size). And most significantly, no new tumors have emerged.

I’ve been struggling with this disease for so long. Each time that I went off chemo the cancer would come back with a vengeance. But now, I have the incredible opportunity to be a pioneer in this new world of immunotherapy. Not only did it work while we put “PDL-1” in my body every three weeks, but we just proved that it taught my immune system how to recognize cancer and stop it from growing.

One of the tumors that grew just a little bit is pressing against my kidney and is creating a blockage. So – next week I’ll be going down to Stanford for outpatient surgery to put a stent in to make sure that I don’t lose my kidney. But that’s no big deal. That I can handle. That isn’t threatening my life or forcing me to revisit chemo.

The doctors are planning for me to go another three months without treatment and do another CT scan then. A friend asked me the other night “so how long do they think it will work?” No one knows. I’m the one creating the data that will inform everyone who comes after me. It’s a scary place to be, but an exciting place, too. My body is making history by fighting cancer and winning.

It’s truly a miracle. We are entering a whole new world for cancer care. I am filled with gratitude today – for Stanford Cancer Center, for Drs. Fisher and Kohrt, for Genentech, for my family, for my friends, for my colleagues, for my many other doctors, and for my phenomenally tough body that continues to amaze me. 

Happy Thanksgivukkah.

46

Last Wednesday, I hit the big “46.” It has been almost 6 years since my diagnosis. Little did I know on my 40^th birthday that I would soon be starting the toughest and longest battle of my life.  But here I am. Living a full life. Defying the odds.

Many of you know that last Friday I went in for my 3 month CT scan. I was going to wait to tell you the results until I knew more, but I’ve decided to go ahead and share what I know….

The results of my 3 months without treatment are mixed. Apparently, some of the tumors are bigger, some are smaller.  Dr. Kohrt said that by measurement, the disease is stable. The biggest concern is that there is a tumor in my abdomen that is blocking one of my kidneys.  Apparently, they need to get rid of the blockage or there is a potential that I could lose a kidney.

Unfortunately, that’s all I know now. I am waiting for direction from my fabulous team. They are looking at multiple options for next steps and hopefully I’ll know soon what our next course of treatment will be.

As we get closer to Thanksgiving day, I keep reminding myself how grateful that I am for my amazing family and friends and my extraordinary healthcare. The fact that Dr. Kohrt e-mailed me over the weekend just because he knew that I’d be nervous about my results speaks volumes about the phenomenal team that I have working on me.

Thank you all for praying for me, sending me positive energy and quite frankly, just for being there. I don’t know what the future brings, but I know that because of my incredible support network, I’ll be just fine, whatever is in store.