Recurrence #5

Today I went in to Stanford for my post-surgery CT.  Unfortunately, there seem to be 4-5 abnormalities and George believes that they are most likely cancerous.  They are located in my upper abdomen and by my pancreas and bladder.  The look of sadness in his eyes overwhelmed me.

The next steps are to get a CT-PET scan in the next few days so that they can see if the spots are active.  We will also see what my blood work looks like (I should get the results tomorrow).  Next Wednesday, I'll meet with George again to determine next steps.  But - most likely - some harsher chemo is in my future.  If I have multiple spots, George said that they would not be able to radiate or operate on them, so chemo is my best option.  Unfortunately, our chemo options are limited for colon cancer.  (Which is why I'm so adamant about the passage of Prop 29 next week.  It really is my best chance to see the girls grow up.  But - I'll stop the commercial now)

I'm so very very sad right now.  This is my 5th recurrence in less than 5 years.  Tomorrow night, I am supposed to be speaking to 500 American Cancer Society volunteers at their annual dinner.  I was planning to talk about hope.  Honestly, I'm not feeling a lot of that right now.  I am so very tired of fighting.

Tonight I will wallow in my sorrow.  But tomorrow, I will wake up and put my game face on and be ready to fight again.  That's what I do - I won't go down without a fight.  Please be with me.  Send me your prayers as I embark on what will be a very difficult journey ahead.

Mother’s Day & Lance Armstrong (my new BFF)

This is my 4^th  Mother’s Day since the discovery of my cancer.  I have lost so many organs and subjected my body to so much over the past 4 years.  I am grateful to my body for barreling through all of the indignities and pain - enabling me to reach this day.  To wake up to breakfast in bed from two loving girls and my darling husband is such a gift. 

When I saw their sweet smiling faces this morning, so pleased with their efforts, I was once again reminded why I continue to subject my body to the needles, knives and poison. - so that I can see many many more Mother’s Days.

And that is why I am so committed to passing the California Cancer Research Act  (Prop 29) – which will provide hundreds of millions of dollars every year for cancer research.  And it’s only $1 extra on each pack of cigarettes – the very product that causes cancer and so many other health problems and costs.  Smokers in 33 other states pay more than Californians because each time this comes before the voters, Big Tobacco fights it….hard.

Once again, Big Tobacco is absolutely determined to defeat this bill.  They are dumping tens of millions of dollars into misleading ad campaigns that are running continuously on both TV and the radio.  It’s appalling. 

Fortunately, the Yes on Prop 29 campaign finally has pieced together enough money to put commercials on the air.  But we’re looking at a campaign chest of just over $4 million compared to Big Tobacco’s deep pockets….it’s truly a David and Goliath moment.

I know that many of you have seen the ads this week on TV – since I’ve gotten e-mails from folks all over Northern California saying that they’ve seen me on TV.  (It’s so exciting being a minor celebrity!!)  As you all know, I filmed those spots 3 days post surgery, so I’m not looking my most stunning (I’m bloated, tired and a bit loopy) – but there was no way that I was going to miss the opportunity to be a part of the effort to get this important proposition passed.    One of the commercials has Lance Armstrong and me bookending the spot…which naturally makes us new BFFs!  (I’m sure that he’ll be calling me soon to get together…)  If you want to see our spot, go to http://californiansforacure.org/ and look for the ad with Lance.

Absentee ballots have been arriving this past week to voters in California.   On behalf of cancer patients everywhere and those who love them, if you live in California, please vote for Prop 29.  Please ask your family and friends to vote for Prop 29 (this also goes for those of you who don’t live in California but know people who live here).   Furthermore – if you have the ability to help our campaign, please do so.  Every time we turn around, Big Tobacco is writing yet another big check to the “No on Prop 29.”   To Donate, just go to the following site: http://CaliforniansForACure.org/action/donate and where it says "advocate" please put down "Eve Bukowski.

This Proposition is critical for those of us who are fighting every day against this terrible disease.  Please help me and so many others get to celebrate another Mother’s Day.    There is no more important gift that you can give.