Monday, January 13, 2014

No Bag Here!



So – I guess that I left off some critical information (surgeries 15 & 16). As you know, surgery 14 placed a urine bag on me to try to drain my blocked kidney so that I wouldn’t lose it. It is dangerous to have a kidney blocked for a prolonged period of time and so they needed to act fast.



On Wednesday night when I was in the hospital following the surgery, my surgeon came to visit me. While discussing the surgery, he told me that he thought that he could move the bag to an internal system in 2-3 months. I pushed back immediately, asking if there was any way that he could do it sooner than that. After thinking about it for a minute, he said that he could probably do the surgery in a month. My response was that while that timing was better, I would like him to think about it overnight and see if he had an even better response in the morning.

The next morning, when he returned to discharge me, he informed me that he had thought about it and he felt that the surgery could be done the following week.  I was thrilled.

On Thursday, December 19, my bag was removed during surgery #15 and they were able to place a stent in my ureter. Apparently, coming from above was easier than coming from below. They left the tube in my back for another week to ensure that the stent was working. Then, one week later, I went in to get all of the plumbing moved to an internal system just in time for 2014.

And now you’re all caught up with my surgeries. Since I had 5 procedures in one month, I have become quite well known at Stanford’s Interventional Radiology unit. And – to make me completely unique, my dear friends at Genentech gave me my own stylish hospital gown, which is covered with beautiful flowers.  Since I spend so much time in a hospital gown, it’s nice to have a little bit of cheeriness all around me.  Thank you Genentech (heck – these people not only are saving my life but making me look fabulous while doing so)!

This Friday, I will head back down to Stanford for a 2 hour scan so that the radiation oncologist is very clear what’s inside of me and how best to approach my tumors.  The week of the 27th is most likely when I’ll begin my 10 day radiation treatment. 

So – the cancer adventure continues – but first I need to get through this week since I’m putting on 7 different work events in 3 days… Oy!

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Fiducials & Thoughts on 7th Anniversary


I began this blog last Sunday, but never finished it. But – before I go into my thoughts of last week – I’ll give a quick snapshot of last Friday’s adventures.

On Friday, I was scheduled to go to Stanford for them to try putting fiducials into the tumor on my bladder to mark it for radiation. This was going to be no easy task. The tumor was very small, hard to get to and surrounded by bowel.  But – we were going to make a run at putting them in because if we were successful, then I’d be able to proceed with radiation.

There were some hiccups on Friday (I had a UTI) that made us stop and debate whether we should move forward. Having an infection in my system could cause a complication if it were to spread. We decided that we would move forward with the initial scan to see whether he thought that the procedure could even be done successfully. We figured that if he couldn’t do it based on the placement of the tumor, that the discussion regarding the fiducials and the UTI were irrelevant.

So – we moved forward with the scan and the surgeon felt that it was worth trying to place the fiducials. After a significant amount of consults with other surgeons, my surgeon decided that the additional risk of the UTI was not enough to stop us from performing the procedure. And so – we moved forward.

I am thrilled to let you know that IT WORKED! The fiducials are in!

On Friday night, I did have a scare in the middle of the night when I thought that I had a pulmonary embolism or that the infection moved into my chest. I couldn't breathe and I was in extreme pain. After about an hour, I realized that it was just heartburn/acid reflux from the nachos and popcorn that Pat and I had for dinner at the movies earlier that night. (Traffic was so bad in the Bay Area coming back from Stanford that Pat and I stopped off in Oakland to catch a movie and didn't have time to grab a decent meal.) The heartburn/acid reflux seems to have subsided and I'm back to my regular self.  (Note to self – nachos and popcorn are NOT a good idea for dinner.)

The plan going forward is to start radiation in about a week. The plan is to do 10 days in a row (except weekends). We’re doing it slowly with less radiation for each session for a couple of different reasons: 1) so that the tumor doesn’t shrink down too quickly. If the tumor decreases in size too fast, there could be a hole in my bladder that would enable urine to flow into my peritoneum. Thus, they want it to shrink slowly to allow scar tissue to build up as the tumor shrinks. 2) The tumor is surrounded by bowel. They don’t want to blast too high of a dose of radiation through that area that may injure the bowel. Therefore, it looks like I’ll be on the road a lot at the end of January….

As for the drugs – it looks like Dr. Fisher wants to wait for some new trials to open up. He loves PDL-1 for me, but is uncertain if I’ll meet the requirements for going back on it. In the meantime, apparently, PDL-1 in mice has shown that it is in the system months after it has been given. I’m just going to hope that it’s still in my system – helping my body to fight the tumors. Hopefully, the radiation will give my body a little boost, too!

The following was what I began to write last week on the 7th anniversary of finding out that I had cancer….

 

7 Years

Seven years ago today, I woke up in Des Moines to discover that I had colon cancer.  What a long road it has been. I’ve had so many surgeries (4 in the last few weeks), so much chemo, so much radiation…

Today also marks the day that Gloria Borges, a young vibrant colon cancer patient passed away. This is the third person that I am connected to that passed away from cancer this week. Gloria was so strong, so alive, so motivated. She was a 29 year old associate at a law firm when she discovered that she had cancer. It was dire when she found out about it but she was determined not only to live, but to thrive. Over the past 3 years she became a powerful force in raising awareness and funds for colon cancer research.  She started the WunderGlo Foundation and was a force of nature. I’ve been watching her journey and was so sure that she was going to make it.

I’m devastated. Some days I wonder how long I can outrun this disease. Why does cancer continue to claim lives of vibrant, amazing souls?  Earlier this week, I went to a funeral for yet another friend who died of cancer. And, another young cancer warrior, Andrea Sloan, whose battle I’ve been following closely, also succumbed to cancer this week.

I have realized that almost every single person that I know that has Stage 4 cancer is no longer with us. I pray that I am at the beginning of people living long lives – even if they have this diagnosis.

I will continue to do everything possible to survive. But some days, I’m just so tired.

Later this week, I’ll be going in to Stanford for them to mark a tumor to prep my body for more radiation. Although it is a tough procedure, I feel confident that the amazing surgeons at Stanford will pull this off. 

Today, I’m going to focus on what’s good in my life. We got a new dog – a rescue Maltese/Yorkie. He has brought so much joy to our home. I think I’m going to go and play with him now…

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

My Phenomenal Oncologists


If you have been following my cancer journey, then you are probably well aware of my deep adoration of my amazing oncologists – Dr. George Fisher and Dr. Holbrook Kohrt (and their fabulous teams). After talking to other cancer patients, I have come to realize that it is rare to find an oncologist who is both brilliant and extraordinarily kind. I am so lucky that both of my oncologists have these qualities in spades. Furthermore, they are aggressive and creative with my care as well as incredibly responsive. Unfortunately for them, sometimes they have had to act as my therapist, too. They have both calmed me down and lifted me up when I’ve been filled with worry and fear. I owe my life to them and I am grateful every single day that they are my team.

Sometimes I wonder what motivates them to do what they do. Why do they put themselves in a line of work where they see such suffering? How do they stay upbeat and dedicated when so many of their patients don’t make it? Who are these amazing souls?

Interestingly enough, an article that came out on Monday in the NY Times helps answer that question. I wanted to share this article with you about Holbrook because I am just so very proud of him. As you will read, he has beaten the odds to be alive today and he continues to fight so that patients, like me, can also beat the odds. Thank you, Holbrook and George for holding my hand and being by my side during this cancer journey.  I love you.


A Doctor's Intimate View of Hemophilia

Dr. Holbrook Kohrt is a physician and researcher who has spent a lifetime as a patient. A 36-year-old hematologist at the Stanford University School of Medicine, he has an extreme form of hemophilia, the bleeding disease. We spoke about his life and work for two hours in person, and later by telephone. An edited and condensed version of the conversations follows.

Hemophilia is thought to be hereditary. Do other members of your family have it?

No. None. When I was born in 1977, my parents didn’t even know I had it. After circumcision, I bled profusely. And then, during the first month of life, I kept bleeding. Though my father was a pediatrician and my mother a nurse, they didn’t even consider hemophilia.

They took me to the hospital, where the doctors thought my mother was abusing me — I had all these unexplained bruises. After some testing, it was determined that I had a very unusual type of hemophilia that comes from a random mutation.

Once that was known, my parents became centered on taking care of a child with severe hemophilia. So I grew up in a room that was padded so I wouldn’t bleed to death if I fell. I wore a helmet every day. There were frequent trips to the children’s hospital for emergencies, three hours from where we lived, in Lake Wallenpaupack, Pa.

Was it possible to have a normal childhood under those circumstances?

I wouldn’t say so. We lived in a small town. Many people there did not understand about hemophilia.

To stay alive, I had to have transfusions of a blood product — clotting factor — every other day. We had neighbors who were members of a religion that opposed transfusions. People from that family would ring our doorbell and scream that we were going to hell.

On the school bus, the others made fun of me. This got even worse during my adolescence because people first began reading about AIDS. To uninformed people, AIDS and hemophilia were the same thing.

To make the situation even worse, large numbers of hemophiliacs developed H.I.V. At the beginning of the H.I.V. epidemic, the blood banks didn’t test their donors for the virus. To stay alive, hemophiliacs often require transfusions of the clotting factor. It’s a protein that our bodies can’t make naturally, and it’s made up from the blood of hundreds, perhaps thousands of donors. Well, if one of those donors had H.I.V., it could be transmitted to anyone who received the blood product. In those years, of the severe hemophiliacs, 95 percent died after contracting H.I.V. from transfusions.

I remember, from the time I was 8 years old, I went to this special summer camp for hemophiliac children. The first year I attended, there were about 200 campers. Eight years later, they stopped having the camp altogether because there were just two of us left.

I think that there’s something very strong about the fact that I was a teenager at the time when all this was happening. When young kids encounter death, you don’t understand the full magnitude of it. You experience it, but then you feel like life goes on.

Why didn’t you contract H.I.V. like the others?

I was lucky. I did, at the age of 13, get hepatitis C, from contaminated blood. I was in the hospital for two months. And then something truly fortunate occurred. I had what’s called a “full antibody response,” which means that my immune system naturally cleared the infection.

 Today, happily, the blood products hemophiliacs take are safer. Scientists have figured out a way to produce an engineered version of the clotting factor. That means that we don’t have to go to hundreds of human donors for blood anymore. They take the protein we need, insert it into the ovary of a tiny hamster and make the clotting factor from that.

Did your childhood experiences lead you to become a hematologist?

Oh, absolutely. In my childhood, it was doctors who I related to more than my peers.

The thing that really attracted me, though, was seeing translational medicine happen in my lifetime. By the time I applied to medical school in 2000, the H.I.V. epidemic had become a chronic disease in the developed world. Breakthroughs in biochemistry promised the same for hemophilia. I wanted to help with that.

As you recall, I had this experience where my own immune system had naturally cleared a hepatitis C infection. I wondered if there might not be ways to get the immune system to respond to cancer in that same way. Today, that’s the focus of my research.

Tell us about your research.

A few years ago, I joined the Stanford laboratory of Ron Levy, who developed the antilymphoma chemotherapy Rituxan. My focus there has been to try to get it to work better against non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma by adding Rituxan to another antibody in the hope of finding a combination that attacks the cancer.

 The experiment has been to inject mice with lymphoma, go down a couple days later, give the mice Rituxan, and then a couple days later, give them whatever molecule I choose. About four years ago we did this, and we had a whole cage full of mice where the tumor completely melted away.

Recently, we gave that combination to a human patient. And now, almost a year later, she has no evidence of the lymphoma whatsoever. Of course, one patient isn’t enough to make for a clinical trial. So now we are going for full-scale trials to show that it is not only effective for lymphoma but, hopefully, for other cancers, too.

 You’ve been doing a clinical trial in Cuba. Is that for the same therapy?

No. In Cuba, we’ve been taking little portions of cancer cells — the peptides — and vaccinating patients against them. Actually, we’ve taken this idea and applied it to cervical cancer in Cuba, ovarian cancer in Australia, leukemia in Europe, and at Stanford.

Our goal is to ultimately use this approach to teach transplanted bone marrow what the cancer looks like so when cancer attempts to come back, the immune system is smart enough to recognize and attack it.

Why study this in Cuba?

There is a large population of underserved patients with cervical cancer there. They had doctors there who wanted to work with us. Right now, we’re in Phase 1 of trials there, which means that we’re testing for safety and the immune response. Patients who already have cancer receive the vaccine, and we’ll see if the immune system responds and mobilizes.

Is there anything about your own condition that pushes you forward?

Oh, yes, but it’s more philosophical than physical. I realized early on that I have to do everything I want to do as soon as possible because I didn’t know what the future could be. That’s been useful in terms of the research and the science. I have the stamina and the commitment to keep trying things.

It’s not been so good in terms of personal relationships. I’ve been married twice. But that knowledge forces me to take the time I have to give the maximum to science and to my patients. Research requires great tenacity. When you’ve had a serious illness since infancy, you know to make the most of every single day.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Surgery #13...and #14

I'm exhausted tonight, so I'm just going to give you all the basic facts. Yesterday's surgery (to put the stent in my kidney) did not go well. The tumor was pressing so hard on the ureter that they were unable to put the stent in. There was only a 10% chance things would go wrong. Unfortunately, I was in that 10%. They also found a mass in my bladder. They removed the mass and sent it to pathology to see if it is a tumor. Needless to say, it was a pretty bad night and I didn't sleep well (thus my need to quickly write you and then go to bed).

The problem is that my urine is truly caught in this kidney. They need to get it out quickly or I will lose the kidney. Therefore, tomorrow I will be heading to Stanford for surgery #13 - to put in a nephrostomy tube which will drain my kidney immediately. Unfortunately, I'll also be left with a bag. Draining the kidney will give us a little breathing room to figure out what to do next.

I'm pretty sad right now. It was a rough night and today was rough, too. Tomorrow night at this time I'll have a bag (at least it won't be a colostomy bag). The hope is that they won't have to leave the bag on too long. My colleague suggested that I bedazzle it - because everything looks better with glitter!

So - off I go for Surgery #14. I'll be spending the night at Stanford, but should be back on Thursday morning. This rollercoaster ride never ends....

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Miracles and Gratitude

Last night, the first night of Chanukah, we began the celebration of miracles. Today was Thanksgiving – when we as a nation focus on gratitude. What an amazing combination and so poignant at this stage in my cancer journey.

Over the last few days I’ve had a constant stream of e-mails and texts with my oncologists regarding last Friday’s CT scan. Yes, the five tumors that have stubbornly refused to leave my gut for the past year are stable (a couple went up a little, a couple went down and one stayed the same size). And most significantly, no new tumors have emerged.

I’ve been struggling with this disease for so long. Each time that I went off chemo the cancer would come back with a vengeance. But now, I have the incredible opportunity to be a pioneer in this new world of immunotherapy. Not only did it work while we put “PDL-1” in my body every three weeks, but we just proved that it taught my immune system how to recognize cancer and stop it from growing.

One of the tumors that grew just a little bit is pressing against my kidney and is creating a blockage. So – next week I’ll be going down to Stanford for outpatient surgery to put a stent in to make sure that I don’t lose my kidney. But that’s no big deal. That I can handle. That isn’t threatening my life or forcing me to revisit chemo.

The doctors are planning for me to go another three months without treatment and do another CT scan then. A friend asked me the other night “so how long do they think it will work?” No one knows. I’m the one creating the data that will inform everyone who comes after me. It’s a scary place to be, but an exciting place, too. My body is making history by fighting cancer and winning.

It’s truly a miracle. We are entering a whole new world for cancer care. I am filled with gratitude today – for Stanford Cancer Center, for Drs. Fisher and Kohrt, for Genentech, for my family, for my friends, for my colleagues, for my many other doctors, and for my phenomenally tough body that continues to amaze me. 

Happy Thanksgivukkah.

Monday, November 25, 2013

46

Last Wednesday, I hit the big “46.” It has been almost 6 years since my diagnosis. Little did I know on my 40th birthday that I would soon be starting the toughest and longest battle of my life.  But here I am. Living a full life. Defying the odds.

Many of you know that last Friday I went in for my 3 month CT scan. I was going to wait to tell you the results until I knew more, but I’ve decided to go ahead and share what I know….

The results of my 3 months without treatment are mixed. Apparently, some of the tumors are bigger, some are smaller.  Dr. Kohrt said that by measurement, the disease is stable. The biggest concern is that there is a tumor in my abdomen that is blocking one of my kidneys.  Apparently, they need to get rid of the blockage or there is a potential that I could lose a kidney.

Unfortunately, that’s all I know now. I am waiting for direction from my fabulous team. They are looking at multiple options for next steps and hopefully I’ll know soon what our next course of treatment will be.

As we get closer to Thanksgiving day, I keep reminding myself how grateful that I am for my amazing family and friends and my extraordinary healthcare. The fact that Dr. Kohrt e-mailed me over the weekend just because he knew that I’d be nervous about my results speaks volumes about the phenomenal team that I have working on me.

Thank you all for praying for me, sending me positive energy and quite frankly, just for being there. I don’t know what the future brings, but I know that because of my incredible support network, I’ll be just fine, whatever is in store.
 

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Keeping Busy

As many of you know, I lead a very busy life – I have a high stress job that has many evening events, have enrolled the girls in many activities, love spending time with friends, am involved in cancer-fighting causes and, of course, am running back and forth to Stanford for cancer treatment. 

I realize that I’m fairly frenetic.  Everyone tells me to slow down and relax.  Breathe.  Meditate.  Just Be.

But – it’s my coping mechanism.  If I’m constantly busy, then I don’t have time to think about my fears.  I don’t have time to think about what may come to be.  I don’t have time to think about not being here for my children.

Every time that I do stop, I feel fear clench at my chest.  Different pains pop up that make me crazy with the belief that they are tumors.  When I run around, I don’t notice pain.  I forget about my fear.  I’m focused on the task at hand and don’t wallow in my grief or make myself crazy with self-pity.

Being forced to stop and think during Yom Kippur is both a blessing and a curse.  I so want to be inscribed in the book of life for next year, but then I question whether I have done or am doing the things that I should be doing that would make me worthy of getting to live for another year. 

Did I attend synagogue regularly?  No.  Did I eat right?  Not really.  Did I exercise as often as I should have? No.  Did I engage in tikkun olam (healing of the world) over the past year?  Not enough.  Did I spend enough time with my daughters helping them to grow into amazing children?  No – but thank goodness they became amazing in spite of me.

These are the thoughts that go through my head.  My chest tightens up just writing this.  As we embark on the year 5774, I vow that if I’m given another year that I’ll be better.  I’ll stop running from event to event.  I’ll take time for me and for my family.  And when I’m with my family, I won’t just spend the time driving from errand to errand or activity to activity.  I’ll take the time to stop and just be. 

I have 2 months before my next CT scan.  Perhaps I should just focus on that time frame.  I’ll start there.  I have 2 months to focus on healthy living – eating right, exercise, family, breathing.  In two months, I’ll know whether my body has been able to fight the tumors without medication.  I’m really scared right now.  But – rather than react by adding to my “to do” list, I’m going to react by taking unimportant items off of that list.   I’m going to focus on the items that really matter.

I have been blessed with a strong body and phenomenal medical care.  It’s time for me to refocus on my healing and give myself the best chance of seeing 5775.

Happy New Year.